1 Timothy 5:1-2 - Family Formed by God
When a pastor looks over the congregation, how might he describe the people he sees?
He could describe individuals as members, regular attenders, visitors, elders, deacons, leaders, staff, servants, volunteers, men, women, children, or youth. The pastor might identify new believers, mature saints, struggling Christians. He might point out his encouragers, his critics, and his close friends.
All of those are fine. You may be able to think of others, but at the start of 1 Timothy 5, Paul tells this young pastor to view the congregation in a particular way: as fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters – as family.
Now, what makes people family? There’s birth, adoption, or marriage. Interestingly, all three of those characterize our relationships in the church. So, we experienced the new birth by the Spirit according to God the Father's plan. We were adopted into His family. And we are the bride of Christ, united with Him and belonging to Him, waiting for the return of Christ, the Bridegroom.
All of this has been accomplished through the saving work of Jesus Christ. Therefore, in Him, we are family, we are related, and the principles of family apply.
Even along the lines of birth kin – who are related by blood – the language applies. In Christ, are we not related by blood? We absolutely are – by the blood of Christ, our God and Savior. So this is more than just rhetorical language being used by Paul. The church is actually a family. We are bound to one another by more than just a common goal or shared interests.
But we don’t naturally relate to each other in this way, do we? By nature, we relate according to the kingdom of this world – in a sinful manner. This is why we have this apostolic command. But the command alone is not enough to create true obedience. For that to occur, the kingdom of God had to break into our world –
which did occur, through the coming of Christ our King.
Now, those whom He saves can relate in a godly way. We can delight in God’s law for how we interact and we can increasingly conform to it. Which should always be our goal. The pastor should lead the way in this.
But as is always the case, the way isn’t simply by trying harder. Neither is it found in treating worship, prayer, Scripture reading, and the sacraments as religious exercises to improve ourselves. Verses of Scripture like these can be quickly wrestled from their God-centered context and thrust into a man-centered framework of “do this” and “don’t do that.” We must see and commune with the living Christ. As we do, He transforms us within.
But how does He do this? How do we change? Notice your outline. The triune God, by union with Christ, through the renewal of the Spirit, by His appointed means (Word, sacrament, and prayer), transforms our inner being, increasingly causing us to relate to the men of the church with the respect due a father and the affection due a brother, (v.1) and to the women of the church with the honor due a mother and the purity due a sister. (v.2)
This kind of behavior is not first a matter of doing, but of being and believing: being united to Christ by faith and increasingly conformed to His likeness as we behold His glory and commune deeply with Him.
Just before this, Paul describes the nature of the pastor/congregation relationship. The healthy pastor commands and teaches the whole counsel of God with faithfulness. He leads the way in Christlikeness. He preaches and teaches with precision and boldness. He uses the gift and fulfills the calling God gives him.
In turn, the congregation learns and responds to the truth as God Himself speaking. The people value and support the pastor as he studies, writes, proclaims, explains, leads, shepherds, and prays for the salvation and spiritual growth of God’s people.
A good pastor pours himself into the work; a good congregation receives with eagerness the Word.
But Timothy was still required to fight indwelling sin. This is why Paul goes further here to define the example that the pastor should set. He says, “Do not rebuke an older man.”
We know Timothy was relatively young. This is why Paul told him, “Let no one despise you for your youthfulness.” Older men who needed correction were not to be scolded or chastised. Paul’s word choice carries the idea of striking someone verbally, dressing them down. He has a harsh manner of correction in mind – not like the manner of Christ. It seems to be, at best, disrespectful, at worst, trying to put a man in his place. There’s no use in that. It won’t be productive.
Obviously, the church is not a company. The pastor’s not a boss and the members are not employees. Scolding might work on a jobsite, though even there, someone younger dressing down someone older isn’t going to be received well, is it?
Timothy should not rebuke harshly, but neither should he acquiesce. The answer is not “passive compliance by the pastor.” See the rest of the verse, “but encourage him.” Correct the older man in a loving and concerned manner, warn him with gentleness, strongly urge him with care.
Help the man see Christ. And do so with a certain kind of respect. With a pattern in your mind to follow. “encourage him as you would a father.” I say this here under the “father” section, but it applies in every category.
Among the family of God in Christ, there should be no ongoing clash of egos. Yes, we will offend one another at times. Proverbs 19 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” We have to do like Elsa in “Frozen.” Let it go! Let it go! Easier said than done, I know. Christ must do His good work in us.
Paul may be assuming situations where Timothy is right, but being right is not enough. Just because you’re right doesn’t mean it’s right to ram your agenda through. A doctor may have the correct diagnosis, but if he barges into the room, insulting the patient and barking orders, the patient may not listen to the treatment. Being right about the problem doesn't excuse being wrong in the manner.
The pastor must be intentional not only about what he says but also how he says it. So this is excellent advice from Paul. How should Timothy approach an older man? Well, how would you speak to your own father?
You should revere him. Exodus 20 says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” This is the fifth commandment. To honor means to revere. To ascribe a degree of glory to the person.
There is a God-given weightiness to the role of father or mother, though, sadly, people may not live up to it in any form or fashion. Still, this is the effective and Christ-glorifying way.
Now look at the next part. “Encourage…younger men as brothers.” Here’s a situation where a man is closer in age to Timothy. This might be someone who is more of a peer, perhaps more of a natural rival. It might be a man who still has a ways to go towards maturity. But a good pastor treats the man with love and respect.
The good pastor is patient with the man. These commands of Paul take into account men who may strike first. Again, the natural tendency is to either strike back and back down. In conflict, men naturally aim to overpower one another. One aims to expose the other or make him feel small. But those kinds of responses are not from our God. They come from our personal insecurities and misbeliefs about our own worth.
Paul is clear that the goal here is not self-glory but Christ’s glory. And treating men this way doesn't bring relief or solve problems. We aren’t going to sin our way forward, are we? Though we might like to.
If you want to put out a fire, you need to drench it. But you wouldn’t use gasoline. In the moment it may feel right to answer harshness with harshness, but it only made the blaze bigger and hotter. Proverbs 15 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Like the rest of 1 Timothy, it’s addressed to a pastor but read to a congregation. The principles here are the same for all of God’s people in the church: relate to men with the respect due a father and the affection due a brother.
We have to read Paul’s commands with a full-orbed theology. Left to ourselves, we don’t relate in this way. Indwelling sin left unchecked results in pride, irritation, selfishness, and harshness, rather than honor and brotherly love. Paul’s command actually shows us not only what God requires, but also what we lack.
And yet we know this of the triune God: He supplies what He requires. Romans 8 says, “Those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.” By union with Christ, through the renewal of the Spirit, by His appointed means (Word, sacrament, and prayer), the triune God transforms our inner being, increasingly conforming us to the image of Christ. And as He does this, the respect and affection will follow.
Now look at verse [2]. Timothy should “encourage…older women as mothers.” The same principles apply here. Again, the fifth commandment. The role of mother is to be revered as well. Unfortunately, like many fathers, many mothers lack even basic kindness towards their children. Many lack basic concern. If that has been your experience, I’m so sorry. But be assured that Christ can make you whole. You’re not at a perpetual disadvantage in how you relate in the family of God.
Let me tell you what Christ has accomplished for you. During His earthly ministry, Jesus perfectly honored His earthly father and mother according to the will of God. And doing so served as so much more than simply a model for us. In union with Him, He works these graces within our hearts.
Christ fulfilled all righteousness for us so that He could produce that same honor and affection in our hearts. In the body of Christ, you will conflict with someone from every age group at one time or another. The way the pastor should speak to an older woman parallels how he should speak to an older man. With love and concern, with respect, and all should follow the example.
And see this fourth group, “younger women as sisters, in all purity.” That last word is very important. The pastor should encourage younger women in or with complete sinlessness.
Sexual temptation and lust are definitely in view here. It is as if Paul is saying, “These are your sisters and mothers in Christ. Treat them as such. In conversations, in looks, in physical touch, even in thought – the pastor must have every woman’s best interests in mind.” And there certainly is no place for even a hint of sexual immorality.
And this too is a pattern for the whole congregation. Sexual immorality can devastate a church. It can tear apart a family. And wherever it creeps in and takes hold in a church, seeing the church has a family formed by God in Christ was surrendered long before.
We should treat one another as family. Therefore, we need to believe that we are family, and see one another as family. And as with all of the Christian life, we must do so by faith. Regardless of how your immediate family treats or treated one another, you have in mind how a healthy nuclear family should interact. By nuclear, I mean mother and father and children in one home.
We understand what healthy behavior looks like. In the church, just as in a nuclear family, we may have hurts and resentments toward family members. We may have frustrations and grudges. And of course, we all have insecurities that affect what we say and do. So, how do we overcome all of that to treat one another as family?
It’s Christ the Lord who has overcome all of that. He conquered the sin so that we may live as a healthy family in the household of God. And so we don’t simply muster the energy to do better. We draw life from Him as the branch draws life from the vine. This is “the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe” described in Ephesians 1. As we behold Him and commune deeply with Him, the person and work of
Christ is put between us and that other person.Christ put Himself between you and all sin. And He put Himself between you and the judgement of God that your sin deserves. As we come to know Him, He transforms how we want to act. He changes our very desires. He strengthens our faith to act according to His ways.
How does God do this in us? The power comes from the triune God, who by union with Christ, through the Spirit, and by the ordinary means of grace, transforms our inner being. The people of God have been adopted by the Father through Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, redeemed through His blood, forgiven of sins, and sealed with the promised Holy Spirit.
As we go to the Lord's Table now, trust Him to commune with you, to strengthen your faith, and to continue conforming you to the likeness of Christ, that we may increasingly live as the family formed by Him.
Bow with me in prayer.
He could describe individuals as members, regular attenders, visitors, elders, deacons, leaders, staff, servants, volunteers, men, women, children, or youth. The pastor might identify new believers, mature saints, struggling Christians. He might point out his encouragers, his critics, and his close friends.
All of those are fine. You may be able to think of others, but at the start of 1 Timothy 5, Paul tells this young pastor to view the congregation in a particular way: as fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters – as family.
Now, what makes people family? There’s birth, adoption, or marriage. Interestingly, all three of those characterize our relationships in the church. So, we experienced the new birth by the Spirit according to God the Father's plan. We were adopted into His family. And we are the bride of Christ, united with Him and belonging to Him, waiting for the return of Christ, the Bridegroom.
All of this has been accomplished through the saving work of Jesus Christ. Therefore, in Him, we are family, we are related, and the principles of family apply.
Even along the lines of birth kin – who are related by blood – the language applies. In Christ, are we not related by blood? We absolutely are – by the blood of Christ, our God and Savior. So this is more than just rhetorical language being used by Paul. The church is actually a family. We are bound to one another by more than just a common goal or shared interests.
But we don’t naturally relate to each other in this way, do we? By nature, we relate according to the kingdom of this world – in a sinful manner. This is why we have this apostolic command. But the command alone is not enough to create true obedience. For that to occur, the kingdom of God had to break into our world –
which did occur, through the coming of Christ our King.
Now, those whom He saves can relate in a godly way. We can delight in God’s law for how we interact and we can increasingly conform to it. Which should always be our goal. The pastor should lead the way in this.
But as is always the case, the way isn’t simply by trying harder. Neither is it found in treating worship, prayer, Scripture reading, and the sacraments as religious exercises to improve ourselves. Verses of Scripture like these can be quickly wrestled from their God-centered context and thrust into a man-centered framework of “do this” and “don’t do that.” We must see and commune with the living Christ. As we do, He transforms us within.
But how does He do this? How do we change? Notice your outline. The triune God, by union with Christ, through the renewal of the Spirit, by His appointed means (Word, sacrament, and prayer), transforms our inner being, increasingly causing us to relate to the men of the church with the respect due a father and the affection due a brother, (v.1) and to the women of the church with the honor due a mother and the purity due a sister. (v.2)
This kind of behavior is not first a matter of doing, but of being and believing: being united to Christ by faith and increasingly conformed to His likeness as we behold His glory and commune deeply with Him.
Just before this, Paul describes the nature of the pastor/congregation relationship. The healthy pastor commands and teaches the whole counsel of God with faithfulness. He leads the way in Christlikeness. He preaches and teaches with precision and boldness. He uses the gift and fulfills the calling God gives him.
In turn, the congregation learns and responds to the truth as God Himself speaking. The people value and support the pastor as he studies, writes, proclaims, explains, leads, shepherds, and prays for the salvation and spiritual growth of God’s people.
A good pastor pours himself into the work; a good congregation receives with eagerness the Word.
But Timothy was still required to fight indwelling sin. This is why Paul goes further here to define the example that the pastor should set. He says, “Do not rebuke an older man.”
We know Timothy was relatively young. This is why Paul told him, “Let no one despise you for your youthfulness.” Older men who needed correction were not to be scolded or chastised. Paul’s word choice carries the idea of striking someone verbally, dressing them down. He has a harsh manner of correction in mind – not like the manner of Christ. It seems to be, at best, disrespectful, at worst, trying to put a man in his place. There’s no use in that. It won’t be productive.
Obviously, the church is not a company. The pastor’s not a boss and the members are not employees. Scolding might work on a jobsite, though even there, someone younger dressing down someone older isn’t going to be received well, is it?
Timothy should not rebuke harshly, but neither should he acquiesce. The answer is not “passive compliance by the pastor.” See the rest of the verse, “but encourage him.” Correct the older man in a loving and concerned manner, warn him with gentleness, strongly urge him with care.
Help the man see Christ. And do so with a certain kind of respect. With a pattern in your mind to follow. “encourage him as you would a father.” I say this here under the “father” section, but it applies in every category.
Among the family of God in Christ, there should be no ongoing clash of egos. Yes, we will offend one another at times. Proverbs 19 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” We have to do like Elsa in “Frozen.” Let it go! Let it go! Easier said than done, I know. Christ must do His good work in us.
Paul may be assuming situations where Timothy is right, but being right is not enough. Just because you’re right doesn’t mean it’s right to ram your agenda through. A doctor may have the correct diagnosis, but if he barges into the room, insulting the patient and barking orders, the patient may not listen to the treatment. Being right about the problem doesn't excuse being wrong in the manner.
The pastor must be intentional not only about what he says but also how he says it. So this is excellent advice from Paul. How should Timothy approach an older man? Well, how would you speak to your own father?
You should revere him. Exodus 20 says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” This is the fifth commandment. To honor means to revere. To ascribe a degree of glory to the person.
There is a God-given weightiness to the role of father or mother, though, sadly, people may not live up to it in any form or fashion. Still, this is the effective and Christ-glorifying way.
Now look at the next part. “Encourage…younger men as brothers.” Here’s a situation where a man is closer in age to Timothy. This might be someone who is more of a peer, perhaps more of a natural rival. It might be a man who still has a ways to go towards maturity. But a good pastor treats the man with love and respect.
The good pastor is patient with the man. These commands of Paul take into account men who may strike first. Again, the natural tendency is to either strike back and back down. In conflict, men naturally aim to overpower one another. One aims to expose the other or make him feel small. But those kinds of responses are not from our God. They come from our personal insecurities and misbeliefs about our own worth.
Paul is clear that the goal here is not self-glory but Christ’s glory. And treating men this way doesn't bring relief or solve problems. We aren’t going to sin our way forward, are we? Though we might like to.
If you want to put out a fire, you need to drench it. But you wouldn’t use gasoline. In the moment it may feel right to answer harshness with harshness, but it only made the blaze bigger and hotter. Proverbs 15 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Like the rest of 1 Timothy, it’s addressed to a pastor but read to a congregation. The principles here are the same for all of God’s people in the church: relate to men with the respect due a father and the affection due a brother.
We have to read Paul’s commands with a full-orbed theology. Left to ourselves, we don’t relate in this way. Indwelling sin left unchecked results in pride, irritation, selfishness, and harshness, rather than honor and brotherly love. Paul’s command actually shows us not only what God requires, but also what we lack.
And yet we know this of the triune God: He supplies what He requires. Romans 8 says, “Those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son.” By union with Christ, through the renewal of the Spirit, by His appointed means (Word, sacrament, and prayer), the triune God transforms our inner being, increasingly conforming us to the image of Christ. And as He does this, the respect and affection will follow.
Now look at verse [2]. Timothy should “encourage…older women as mothers.” The same principles apply here. Again, the fifth commandment. The role of mother is to be revered as well. Unfortunately, like many fathers, many mothers lack even basic kindness towards their children. Many lack basic concern. If that has been your experience, I’m so sorry. But be assured that Christ can make you whole. You’re not at a perpetual disadvantage in how you relate in the family of God.
Let me tell you what Christ has accomplished for you. During His earthly ministry, Jesus perfectly honored His earthly father and mother according to the will of God. And doing so served as so much more than simply a model for us. In union with Him, He works these graces within our hearts.
Christ fulfilled all righteousness for us so that He could produce that same honor and affection in our hearts. In the body of Christ, you will conflict with someone from every age group at one time or another. The way the pastor should speak to an older woman parallels how he should speak to an older man. With love and concern, with respect, and all should follow the example.
And see this fourth group, “younger women as sisters, in all purity.” That last word is very important. The pastor should encourage younger women in or with complete sinlessness.
Sexual temptation and lust are definitely in view here. It is as if Paul is saying, “These are your sisters and mothers in Christ. Treat them as such. In conversations, in looks, in physical touch, even in thought – the pastor must have every woman’s best interests in mind.” And there certainly is no place for even a hint of sexual immorality.
And this too is a pattern for the whole congregation. Sexual immorality can devastate a church. It can tear apart a family. And wherever it creeps in and takes hold in a church, seeing the church has a family formed by God in Christ was surrendered long before.
We should treat one another as family. Therefore, we need to believe that we are family, and see one another as family. And as with all of the Christian life, we must do so by faith. Regardless of how your immediate family treats or treated one another, you have in mind how a healthy nuclear family should interact. By nuclear, I mean mother and father and children in one home.
We understand what healthy behavior looks like. In the church, just as in a nuclear family, we may have hurts and resentments toward family members. We may have frustrations and grudges. And of course, we all have insecurities that affect what we say and do. So, how do we overcome all of that to treat one another as family?
It’s Christ the Lord who has overcome all of that. He conquered the sin so that we may live as a healthy family in the household of God. And so we don’t simply muster the energy to do better. We draw life from Him as the branch draws life from the vine. This is “the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe” described in Ephesians 1. As we behold Him and commune deeply with Him, the person and work of
Christ is put between us and that other person.Christ put Himself between you and all sin. And He put Himself between you and the judgement of God that your sin deserves. As we come to know Him, He transforms how we want to act. He changes our very desires. He strengthens our faith to act according to His ways.
How does God do this in us? The power comes from the triune God, who by union with Christ, through the Spirit, and by the ordinary means of grace, transforms our inner being. The people of God have been adopted by the Father through Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, redeemed through His blood, forgiven of sins, and sealed with the promised Holy Spirit.
As we go to the Lord's Table now, trust Him to commune with you, to strengthen your faith, and to continue conforming you to the likeness of Christ, that we may increasingly live as the family formed by Him.
Bow with me in prayer.
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